


I Never Told You

by hawaiigal52



Category: Ugly Betty
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-28
Packaged: 2017-12-27 20:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawaiigal52/pseuds/hawaiigal52
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the song of the same name (Colbie Callait). 2-shot, from Betty's POV, Post-series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Told You

I Never Told You  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
Hey, I was almost finished with one of my other stories and I just had this pop into my head. The song inspired me! It will definitely only be a 2-parter, though, so don't get too attached! Ha! I felt like I normally show this time period more through Daniel's eyes, so I wanted to try and get inside Betty's head a little. Hope you like it! PLEASE REVIEW!  
________________________________________  
Betty listened to the soft rain, falling outside her window. A sound that, ordinarily, should have made sleep pleasant, welcome, easy.  
But she could only lie there, wondering if it was raining on him, too. She listened to the same song, again, mesmerized by it, in spite of the pain she felt, or perhaps because of that pain.  
I miss those blue eyes  
Like there's no sunrise  
Like the taste of your smile  
I miss the way we breathe  
But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No, I never told you  
I just held it in  
And now,  
I miss everything about you  
Can't believe that I still want you  
And after all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you  
I see your blue eyes  
Every time I close mine  
You make it hard to see  
Where I belong to  
When I'm not around you  
It's like I'm alone with me  
But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No, I never told you I just held it in  
And now,  
I miss everything about you  
Can't believe that I still want you  
And after all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you  
But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No, I never told you  
I just held it in  
And now,  
I miss everything about you  
Betty continued to listen to the song on her IPod, hitting repeat over and over. She chose to ignore the 'kissing' part, editing it from her mind, since there had never been any kissing between the man whose blue eyes she now missed.  
Hugs were their only contact for four years. She would give anything for even one of those, now.  
She wondered how she could have let this happen. She meant to tell Daniel about the job offer in London. She tried, so many times, especially the night they worked together on the anniversary issue.  
She had every intention of telling him that night. But, every time she did, he would say something sweet about what a great team they made or how good it felt to work together again, and she couldn't bring herself to ruin that night.  
She had a few other nights with New York's eligible bachelor that were burned into her memory, too.  
Like the night she saved him from embarrassment at being stood up and they ended up spending the whole night together, singing karaoke over pizza, crashing a wedding, then talking on their bridge, overlooking her side of the city.  
She felt beautiful and special that night, like she was his date.  
Then, there were other times, just little moments actually, here and there, Daniel beaming with pride at her walking on the runway at the fashion show, cheering her on, and walking her off the catwalk, re-assuring her she was beautiful after seeing Jesse kissing Amanda, him punching Matt, telling no one to mess with her, and bragging that she was like sunshine as he presented her award at the Bloby's.  
Maybe they weren't huge moments, but they were the things she treasured.  
She cringed, thinking about the 'kiss' they did share, not one meant for her, but for his dead wife, which she felt uneasy about and almost cheated by, somehow, since it was, technically their first (and only) kiss, but she took no pleasure in it.  
After she tried in vain to sleep again, she noticed the time. It was three thirty in London, which meant it was still quite early back in New York. She wondered, once again, if she should try to call him.  
She had forbid herself from even letting her mind 'go there' since she got on the plane, convincing herself that, if he hadn't made an effort to contact her before she left, she needed to face facts; he hated her and would never forgive her for not letting him know she was leaving.  
It wasn't as if she hadn't tried to reach out to him and apologize, multiple times before she left. She had left her flight information with his mother and on his voice mail, looking and waiting for him to show up at the airport at the last minute, to at least tell her goodbye.  
But, he never came. So, that was that, she tried telling herself. She had cried on the plane, quietly in the bathroom for several minutes, but then, wiped her tears and looked at herself in the mirror and told the reflection there to toughen up and move on.  
There was nothing more she COULD do now. He had made his feelings painfully clear. He was clearly too angry to forgive her, in spite of all they had been through.  
Things in London, thankfully, had been hectic, and exciting. She met Christine a few times, and was extremely busy at work, preparing for her first launch, going to endless meetings, making dozens of decisions, and feeling pride in her hard work. It was wonderful.  
But when she came 'home' to her empty flat, she 'missed his blue eyes' and couldn't shut her mind off from the memories, as they came flooding back, overwhelming her with sadness and regret.  
Not just at missing the man and all they had been through together in the past, but regret at what might have been. The words Claire had said at her farewell kept swirling inside her head, over and over,  
"Losing you is very hard for Daniel. I don't even think he knows why yet." Then, that LOOK she had given her, as if to say Daniel was unable to say goodbye because he felt something more than friendship for her?  
What a ridiculous thought! She couldn't help but smile, a bit. Sure, Daniel Meade, in love with HER? Right! Not very likely, Claire! She laughed at the idea. It was utterly insane.  
Well, consider the source, Betty thought. She knew Claire loved her like a daughter, too. She supposed it made sense that she would invent some fantasy of her being involved with her son.  
For her part, Betty had learned long ago, that such fantasies were only a way to get her heart broken, and she had no intentions of going down that all too familiar road.  
Still, a part of Betty wondered what she had left behind. If just maybe she had been walking away from something that could have been and she just had lost patience, tired of waiting for something she didn't believe would ever happen.  
Because, if she were completely honest with herself, Daniel was the reason she stayed at Mode as long as she did.  
He was the reason she happily brought him his bagel and coffee for two and a half years, then kept making excuses to keep doing it, even once she was no longer his assistant.  
He was the reason she could finally let Henry go, and she had chosen her 'friendship' with Daniel over Matt and had essentially driven him away.  
She didn't Matt for leaving. Deep down, they both knew she would always choose Daniel over him. He had tried to overlook it, but he had tired of playing second to the one and only man in her life.  
After another hour of tossing, she finally sat up in bed, and picked up her phone, just staring at it. She didn't dare call.  
If she got his voice mail, yet again, she was out of clever, witty messages to leave, (or even desperately sad ones like the one she had left the night of her farewell) and she didn't want to sound borderline suicidal, which is what she surely would at this point, since she felt so lonely and depressed.  
And worse yet, if he did actually pick up, she didn't know how the sound of his voice would affect her. That voice she loved to listen to so much.  
She took a deep breath. She decided a text would be the safest way to go. She could do casual by text, she figured. That way, he couldn't hear the catch in her voice. And she could do what she did best-edit herself.  
She selected text on her phone, and quickly, almost offhandedly typed, "R u alive? Miss u."  
She took another breath and held it, wondering if he would respond. After a few minutes, she was both thrilled and scared to death to hear her phone buzzing with a message.  
"Sort of. NY is dark w/o u."  
She smiled at that. While she was trying desperately to think of a good reply, she heard it buzz again.  
"Ur up late."  
"Can't sleep."  
"No th feeln. Tried cntng sheep?"  
"Not wrkng. End up lukng lik u."  
"LOL! Scary! Poor sheep!"  
"I no! blu i'd sheep!"  
"How r u othr thn sleepy?"  
"Cnt gt song out of my head."  
"Wht song?"  
"Colbie Callet"  
"Like her. Which 1?"  
"I Nvr Told U."  
"Dnt thnk I no it."  
"Mks me thnk of u."  
"Is it blu id sheep?"  
"LOL. No. Jst wht Im thnkng "  
"Ma-b Il lsn 2 it."  
"U shd. Let me no wht u thnk."  
"I wil. Betty?"  
"Yes?"  
"Gld u r ok. I mis u 2."  
"Ok. Gnit, D."  
"Sleep tit."  
"Il try."  
"F th sheep. Drnk wine!"  
"LOL! Ok. Bye."  
"Bye."  
She smiled. He didn't hate her, at least. In fact, he had been sort of sweet. So why had he refused to tell her goodbye before she left, she wondered?  
Maybe he had been angry, but now had had time to get over his anger, because he actually missed her a little, too, she thought.  
She got up and wandered into her kitchen to take Daniel's advice and have a glass or three of wine. Three did the trick.  
I Never Told You (part 2)  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty!  
Oh my God, what did I do? Those were the first thoughts out of Betty's head when she moaned, waking up with a slight headache from the three and a half glasses of wine she had downed rather quickly the night before, wondering why she did the things she did sometimes.  
She wasn't a drinker, and the last time she had actually gotten drunk was when Christine had practically forced her to have Guinness upon her arrival to London three weeks ago.  
She hadn't been too keen on it, considering her 'flashing' and drunk-dialing incidents during her first trip to London.  
This time, she didn't have drinking as an excuse for her stupidity with Daniel, though. She had merely been tired and lonely when she stupidly sent him the text that would surely reveal her true feelings the minute he found the lyrics for that song! Krap! Seriously, Betty, what were you thinking?  
She couldn't help herself from her wandering thoughts lately. She pictured herself back in New York, working with Daniel again, like she had that night. The night she SHOULD have told him she was planning on leaving. But, of course she had chickened out.  
How would he have reacted if she HAD told him when she first tried? She closed her eyes in the shower, smelling his cologne, seeing those damn sexy blue eyes, seeing his smile fade slightly when she told him, "Daniel, I've been offered a job in London."  
"NO! You can't leave. I can't live without you, Betty. You have to stay here, with me. I love you. I need you. I WANT YOU NOW!"  
She could feel his lips, kissing her, her lips, her cheek, her neck, then he suddenly cleared the conference table where they had been working of all the pictures and takeout cartons, pulling her up onto it and ripping her clothes off, as well as his own.  
Funny how she could actually feel the slight tickle of his kisses all over her body. Her back, her shoulder and now her breasts. He worked his way down slowly, driving her crazy and she saw those blue eyes again looking up at her as he grinned. KRAP! She opened her eyes, feeling somewhat flushed, and set the temperature a bit colder.  
She reluctantly wrapped a towel around her, then got dressed to go to the corner coffee shop.  
She walked quickly there, feeling the light drizzling rain hit her skin, which took her mind back to the feeling of those kisses, his scent, and seeing his eyes, looking up at her; seeing that smirk.  
She tried to wipe the shower incident out of her brain as she shook out the cobweb from her brain, ordering a large coffee, along with an onion bagel, slightly toasted, light cream cheese.  
She started sipping her coffee grateful for its warmth when her phone vibrated and buzzed, causing her to jump slightly. She saw she had an email. It was from him!  
She took a deep breath, then read, "Love the song! I'm sending you a link to our last issue together. Thought you might want to see it. It came out pretty well, I think. Check out my letter. Let me know what you think. I miss your editing skills-Daniel."  
Her editing skills? Was he kidding? She tells him to listen to a song where she is literally pouring her heart out to the man and he tells her he misses her freaking editing skills?  
Well F him! And his stupid blue eyes! Sheep or no sheep, Daniel Meade was a big JERK! Thanks for nothing, Daniel! He didn't even acknowledge her feelings? Who did he think he was? He wasn't her boss anymore!  
She tried to calm herself, but seriously, the man was an IDIOT sometimes! She knew he was an idiot, so why would she let herself feel that way about him?  
She knew the minute she met him what a stupid, shallow, selfish, annoying, needy, ungrateful, stupid, yes, she knew she said stupid twice, but seriously, the guy was just dumb sometimes! Was irregardless a word?  
Ask Trista, Daniel! The woman had the IQ of a lamp. That was what he wanted, though. Shower fantasies aside, Daniel Meade had no business in Betty's world. He had his little trophy girls, Daniel's stable of women, more like apartment complex, she thought, seething with anger.  
Fine, he could have the Trista's of this world. That's what did it for him, that's what turned him on, women like Trista, and Sexy Lexy, and Erin, and Amanda, Renee, Sofia, and well, Molly, although she didn't count really, but…SO many, God, Betty couldn't even remember half their names. Not that HE could, either, she rolled her eyes, trying to even picture them all.  
She narrowed her eyes, thinking of the night he had her standing guard to keep them from running into each other! What a jerk! WHY had she been spending so much time pining over this guy? This guy, who missed her EDITING SKILLS! REALLY, DANIEL?  
She fumed for a while longer, taking some of her anger and frustration out on her bagel, and burning her tongue slightly on the coffee as she forgot and drank it before blowing on it. She looked at the stupid message again.  
Okay, she thought, let's see how many mistakes he made on his dumb letter. Maybe I'll red line the whole thing and say, Here, send me a check for my Editing Services, buddy!  
She took another bite out of her bagel, opened the link to his letter and started reading. Wow! Daniel wrote this? Clearly, about her!Okay. Keep calm. What should she do? Should she write him back? Call him?  
She threw the rest of her bagel away (Amanda would be so proud, she thought wrily) and picked up the rest of her coffee to head back home and try to think of something to say in response. So, maybe she had overreacted to the editing remark, after all.  
She picked up her pace, trying to think of something, anything to say to his lovely declaration. He wrote that before he knew how she felt, it dawned on her now, before he had read the song lyrics, or had any idea she thought of him as anything other than an EDITOR, and friend. She couldn't keep the smile off her face now.  
She headed up the steps at Trafalgar Square, as the grey morning haze brightened slightly. She thought of him again, and decided the direct approach was best. She took a breath for courage and pressed 3 on her phone to hear his voice mail, "Hello, this is Daniel. Please leave your name and number and I'll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you!"  
She couldn't keep the grin off her face, when she breathlessly stammered, "Hey, Daniel, it's me, Betty! So, you miss my editing skills, huh? Well, I got your letter and I have to say, I can't think of any way to improve on it. That was seriously your best work so far, Daniel.  
I guess my work is done. You are on your own. At least, as far as editing goes. Now, if you want to talk about things that never go out of fashion, give me a call sometime. This is…oops, sorry! Daniel!"  
"Hey, Betty! I wanted to see how that sheep counting is going. I thought I might be able to help you."  
"You're HERE!" She knew it was a stupid thing to say. Of course he was here; the man was standing right in front of her. Standing there with a goofy grin on his face and looking so cute, with those damn blue eyes, staring down at her.  
"I'm here. Do you have a minute?"  
"Sure. Let's sit down. How did you get here so FAST?"  
"Company jet, remember? Seven and a half hours. I got a little sleep on the plane. But I kind of had my own trouble with sheep. Only mine at least had brown eyes. Which I think sheep actually do." He gave her that crazy lopsided grin of his.  
She tried to keep from smiling too big, "So…uh, are you in London for very long?"  
"Yeah. I think I'll see what I can find here, maybe take you to dinner. Tonight, if you're free?" he glanced at her sideways, acting casual.  
"I'd LOVE that, Daniel!" She practically squealed, but tried to keep her smile on her face.  
"So, uh, I guess I'll see you tonight?"  
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, somewhat nervously. "Yeah. I'll uh…call you later."  
"Great!" She headed down the stairs.  
She tried to think straight, but all she could hear in her head was Daniel's here, he's actually HERE in LONDON! She double checked her surroundings, to make sure she wasn't still in bed (or her shower). Nope. This was real, alright.  
What had she said, something about needing an assistant? Yeah, that would be a fantasy, alright! Daniel bringing her coffee. She tried to block out images of her, ripping off his shirt and having her way with him on her desk.  
After she was all the way down the stairs, just passing the statue of Admiral Nelson, she felt a hand on the back of her arm, turning her around and looked up to see his eyes on her. Before she knew what was happening, he was pulling her towards him, and she felt it. This was real. Those were definitely Daniel's lips on hers, his tongue exploring her mouth, his arms holding her tightly against him.  
Finally, he released her and looked down, grinning that grin, "I'm glad you finally told me how you feel, Betty."


End file.
